Anxiety is Just Another Ride

The “Greatest place on Earth” is officially in my head! Don’t get me wrong… Disney is a very close second. 🙂 

I can’t explain how good I feel right now! Nothing is as I want it to be but, I have this overwhelming, completely incurable, weird cosmic feeling that everything is Okay. And to dive deeper into that… I feel hopeful. 
Now that’s a feeling I haven’t experienced in a long time. Hopeful? Ha! … spelling it was even a challenge just now. I literally wanted to put two P’s. 
I’ve thought long and hard about what is ‘allowing’ or contributing to this feeling. It’s been so hard for me to feel much of anything now-a-days especially since what I’ve always wanted seems out of reach. Then I realized I must be closer than I think. I mean, if I want this one thing… one thing more than anything and I fight with myself daily to stop thinking about it ( clearly I’m insane) And yet now… thinking about it is smoothing, calming, even joyful. This one thing that I am NO WHERE close to achieving is making me euphoric! How the hell do you explain that?
Maybe I’m in a daze, I do have no time on my hands… So, maybe I’m sleeping. Maybe I’m sleeping too much lol. I don’t know and honestly it doesn’t matter. All I know is that the one thing that has always scared me… just because I thought it could never be mine… now has me thinking and everything will be fine. That everything is in place and fulfillment is on its way. Imagine that… turning your fears & worries into faith & hope. 
Side Note: Although I am not revealing the “one thing I want” just know that it isn’t unattainable. Based on experiences and I don’t know… The laws of physics, I have convinced myself that it probably isn’t for me. But the moment I get it… And I mean get it all! I will link this post to it. 🙂 I at least owe it to myself to see how far I’ve come. 

Published by Ashleya Nicole

Ashleya Nicole's uses hip hop culture to influence her writings about life, love and their lessons. She is an avid Jay Z fan and is known to quote him in conversations. ❤️

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